To my Daughter, on her 10th Birthday

Tell me what you see
Let me call you sweetheart

On this day, 10 years ago...

I'm in love with you

The world became a more beautiful place.

Let me hear you whisper

I learned the words to 'Daddy's little girl' weeks before you arrived

That you love me too

But the first time I held you, this song came out instead

Keep the love light shining

You don't toddle up and give me wet kisses on request anymore

In your eyes so blue

Or call me Dadd-a

Let me call you sweetheart

But when you don't know you're doing it; when you're not paying attention


You still reach for me


Still lean on me


And it makes me soar... and pray


That you'll always want me along for the ride.


Happy Birthday, sweetheart.


More Toast on the Way

Wind's in the east, a mist coming in,
like something's a brewing, about to begin.

Can't put me finger on what lies in store, but I feel
what's to happen has happened before.


Elemental Wry-ku

I sometimes wonder who died
And made carbon King?



I've got LOTS more to say on this topic.  Suffice it to say, Why Carbon?  It's SIXTH!  Why not Argon?

Ever hear Toyota try to compare the Beryllium footprint of the new Prius vs. a Hemi?  They won't.  Know why??  No dif! Take Carbon out of play, and there's no edge. 

I learned this from my oldest son.  It's like the schoolyard bully.  The biggest kid is bound to challenge the skinny kid to a punching contest.  This happened to my son.  He was the skinny kid.  Nay:  The skinny clever kid who, at age 6, had the presense of mind to say, "I got a better idea.  Let's have a running contest."  The bully agreed, and promptly lost. 

Carbon... oh, how original.  Please.  Helium is way more fun, it's ahead of Carbon in the batting order and it's a noble gas! 

So the next time Larry David's ex-wife comes walking in your direction, be the skinny clever kid.  Tell her why her canteen made from a recycled 747 wing can't compare with the Strontium footprint of a bottle of water.  (Or even its water footprint, but that's a molecule. I digress.)

Read the chart above.  Pick one.  Get thee to Thallium before someone else does.  Own it.  I've got a charcoal grill to get to. 

* Appealing to the judges for a little poetic license on this one.


Daktari and My Grams

Maybe it really is a jungle out there. 

There seems to be no END to what the pampered class will do to protect themselves from the suburban jungles out there. 

Whatever happened to crusing Route 66 in a ragtop Delta 88?? 

Today's commuters have heated-and chilled-leather seats, entertainment systems with satellite radio and TV, GPS guidance systems and more.  Rear cameras have replaced mirrors.  And you can't get a decent bumper sticker on the back bumper these days without screwing up your reverse radar.  

daktariStill, nothing...  NO-THING comes close to evoking the suburban jungle like the armament you can slap on your SUV these days.  Remember Daktari?!?  Dr. Marsh Tracy.  Careening across the African wild in his Jeep, treating the sick lions and beasts of the Wameru, and saving them from the ever-present poachers.  This man feared naught. 

But by today's standards, Daktari was a sap.

Take a look at his vehicle.  What's missing?  Good Lord, it's as plain as the nose on its face...  No grille guard! 

How did he keep the brush away from his headlights?  How did he 366478-529421-thumbnail.jpgnudge the errant pachyderm out of his way?  How did he protect himself from errant lacrosse sticks or tee shots?? 

The grille guard sprang from the lineage of the roll bar and its cousin, the locomotive cow-catcher.  It's a survival necessity.  Don't traverse the globe without it. 

Nothing projects fierce rough-hewn brawn like the grille guard.  Dr. Marsh Tracy didn't understand this.

Thankfully, today, there are Doctors who do understand.  They're our fearless periodontists and podiatrists.  They're the plastic surgeons who know how to keep the rhino in rhinoplasty... in their Volvos, BMWs and Lexus SUVs. 

They know. 

And I want to pay special tribute to the "Daktari of Danbury" I saw this morning, on his misison, no doubt, to deliver his daughter safely to her prep school.  There I was, travelling at a safe speed and distance from other cars when suddently he appeared from out of nowhere, looming in my rear-view mirror, filling me with a sense of... of...


Why say what I can show...

366478-529452-thumbnail.jpgOn your right:  What his car looked like. 

366478-529463-thumbnail.jpgOn your left:  The "cat" glasses my Grandmother used to wear.

There is nothing more I can do to this man that his own lack of self awareness hasn't already done.  I just wanted to thank him for reminding me of my sweet, sweet Grams!


Label Wry-ku

Labels by the score.

Father, son or Injun Chief?

What's on your name tag?









We're obsessed with them.  Everyone's got to be in a category.  Long ago, with the sun setting on an early June night, our youngest (then aged 7) dealt out the labels to his family in the form of handmade placecards with a one-word label next to each name.

Mommy:  "Love."

His sister:  "Candy."  [An exceptional guesture since they'd just been knocking each other around.]

His brother:  "Sick."  ["The good kind," he explained.  "'Like 'Your so seeeeyuck!'"  His older brother approved.]

His Dad:  "Rock."  [No accompanying explanation.  Charitably, yours truly walks away thinking "Dad rocks!"  He stays mum on whether it's a description of my head.  Note to self:  Hike this kid's allowance!]

And so this morning, it occurred to me to ask.  "Hey Danny, you put those words on our placecarcds, but did you put one on yours?"

"Sure, Daddy."

"Well, what did it say?"




Scenes I've Seen

Some faves from Frankie and Paulie:  A Tale of Two Cities, with some scenes seen in San Francisco and St. Paul.





When Two-four Turned 12


Happy Birthday, Pal.

(Photo credit to Lady Baker!)



"It was 232 years ago today" Wry-ku



After all this time

Philadelphia Freedom

Still self-evident?




Independence Day Wry-ku*



Paul Giamatti

Sideways from Big Momma's House

You found John Adams


* Inspired by true events.  The post immediately below about a man arrested wearing fake boobs, Leezer's Historical Haiku, and made easier by the common denominator:  An actor with a five-syllable name.


Real stories that would be rejected at The Onion: Vol. 1.

One%20Blad%20Turn.jpg"Man accused of walking on I-291 with fake breasts"

MANCHESTER, Conn. - A Manchester man has been arrested after he allegedly strolled along Interstate 291 wearing nothing but a thong, fake breasts and a wig.

Police say they received several calls about the man, which prompted an hour-long search over the weekend.

Big%20Momma.jpgPolice said they found the suspect Saturday fully clothed and collecting cans behind a business in Manchester. Police said they also found a wig and fake breasts in the man's car.

Forty-two-year-old David Gebhardt is charged with disorderly conduct and simple trespass. He's free after posting $2,500 bail.