Elemental Wry-ku

Periodic'ly*
I sometimes wonder who died
And made carbon King?

I've got LOTS more to say on this topic.  Suffice it to say, Why Carbon?  It's SIXTH!  Why not Argon?

Let's go hear Toyota try to compare their Beryllium footprint vs. a Hemi?  They won't.  Know why??  No dif! No natural advantage to make it look like somehow Carbon didn't start out on third base and think it hit a triple.

I learned this from my oldest son.  It's like the schoolyard bully.  Get the biggest kid and he's bound to challenge the skinny kid to a punching contest.  This happened to my son.  He was the skinny kid.  Nay:  The skinny clever kid who, at age 6, had the presense of mind to say, "I got an idea.  Let's have a running contest."  The bully agreed, and promptly lost. 

Carbon... oh, how original.  Please.  Helium is way more fun, it's ahead of Carbon in the batting order and it's a noble gas! 

So the next time Larry David's ex-wife comes walking in your direction, you can be that skinny clever kid.  Tell her why that aircraft part she had made into a canteen she's carrying can't compare with the Strontium footprint of a recyclable Arrowhead water.  (Or carbon, for that matter, but I digress.  Or even its water footprint, but that's a molecule.  In case you're ever asked, Oxygen is the big one.)

Read the chart above.  Pick one.  Get thee to Thallium before someone blogs about it on HuffPost.  Better yet, YOU blog about it on HuffPost!  Pimp that Krypton footprint! 

* Appealing to the judges for a little poetic license on this one.  Where's Leezer now that I need her?