They always say

We've all heard what "They always say..."

... but just who the F***  are "they," anyway??  Best I can guess is that "They" might be a group like the guys who write Man Law?? 

To wit:  They always say...

Look both ways before crossing the street.  What if you're on a One-Way street??  Isn't looking both ways a waste??  Can you substitute Up and Down for the unneeded Left or Right??  I almost broke an ankle on a curb because I wasted a sidelong look in the wrong direction and didn't save it up for the downward glance.

Don't go swimming until an hour after you eat.  I used to think this was from a bunch of lazy lifeguards, but now I know it probably did come from parents, but not for the kids' safety.  This dawned on me when I used it on the kids over Memorial Day so I could have a Corona after finishing dinner.

Two wrongs don't make a right.  Yeah, yeah, I know, "but three lefts do."

A watched pot never boils.  Actually, this one is true.

It's always darkest before the dawn.  Probably written by someone on a Walk of Shame.

You can't go home anymore.  Probably written by someone on a Walk of Shame who knows they've been busted.

Anymore suggestions??