Real stories that would be rejected at The Onion: Vol. 1.

"Man accused of walking on I-291 with fake breasts"

Associated Press, June 30, 2008

MANCHESTER, Conn. - A Manchester man has been arrested after he allegedly strolled along Interstate 291 wearing nothing but a thong, fake breasts and a wig.

Police say they received several calls about the man, which prompted an hour-long search over the weekend.

Police said they found the suspect Saturday fully clothed and collecting cans behind a business in Manchester. Police said they also found a wig and fake breasts in the man's car.

Forty-two-year-old David Gebhardt is charged with disorderly conduct and simple trespass. He's free after posting $2,500 bail.

Comments

[leezer]

Disorderly conduct and Trespass? That's your high-brow Connecticut Criminal Code for you! Here in Everything Goes-Washington State, the suspect would be ordered merely to submit to a mental evaluation then he'd plead guilty to lewd conduct, ordered to pay a court filing fee of $73.00, then community service picking up litter alongside I-F. Good times!

[kitkat]

I can see tresspass, but not the disorderly conduct. They were fake breasts, after all.