100 Things

Since I had marathon conference calls today, I slapped this together for my two or so loyal readers... and others who got here by taking the wrong turn at Albequerque...

100.  I'm a Gemini and so am I.

99.  I was once electrocuted by a stainless steel meat grinder like this one on a college job. 

98.  JIF over Skippy.

97.  Sunny side up over scrambled.

96.  Soft boiled even better.  (Just like my Grams used to make.)

95.  Jack Daniel's over Jim Beam.

94.  John Powers over Bushmills over Jameson's.

93.  I used to drink coffee with cream and sugar, now I'm down to just (one) sugar and no cream.

92.  I make a KILLER Caesar salad with enough garlic that you wear it for at least a day.

91.  I like World War II movies, especially "In Harm's Way."

90.  The right tie or the right pair of boxers can turn grey skies to blue!

89.  So can the right song.

88.  Tony Soprano lived after the screen went black.

87.  When I was young, I never needed anyone.  An making love was just for fun. 

86.  Those days are gone.

85.  Two iconic women who captivated me as a young boy:  Bobbie Joe from Petticoat Junction and the lady from Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass's "Whipped Cream" album.

84.  I have that album on my iPod for the music, too!

83.  Was the year I graduated from High School.

82.  I showed this blog to my wife for the first time a year or so ago, but I still haven't told my sisters about it. 

81.  According to my Traffic Log, she stopped reading a couple of months ago.

80.  I had my first root canal at 40.  It wasn't all that bad.

79.  I have flat feet.

78.  Letterman over Leno, but Stewart and Colbert are gaining fast.

77.  I used to swim on my (coed) high school team.  Wasn't that great at it because I kept having to think about baseball every time the girls swam backstroke. 

76.  I suck at golf.

75.  Favorite color: Green.

74.  My sister and I used to love listening to Marlo Thomas' Free to be You and Me.  (Remember Rosie Grier and "It's alright to cry??" or "Billy wants a doll??")

73.  Ancestrally speaking, I am 3/4 Irish, 1/4 Armenian.

72.  I don't think "ancestrally" is a word.

71.  I have just re-attained Aadvantage GOLD status on American Airlines for the third year in a row.  Back off, bithces!

70.  I am a Kentucky Colonel.

69.  My phone still speaks German.

68.  I'm a keen observer of people's behavior, and can pretty much do an impression of anyone.  But I'm often reluctant to do it, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

67.  "You dirty rat!  You killed my brother!"  [See what I mean??  Uncanny, huh??]

66.  I saw The Cars in concert once in high school, and the only thing that moved on stage was Ric Ocasek's leg, to the rythym of each song.  It was like the Hall of Presidents at Disney World.

65.  I once tried to start a wave at a Barry Manilow concert I went to in high school with a girl I was dating then.  Didn't work.  Neither did the relationship.

64.  I had to stay home sick on both my 2nd and 3rd grade field trips to the Bronx Zoo. 

63.  Best Bond Theme:  "We have all the time in the world," by Louis Armstrong.  It was later redone by Fun Lovin' Criminals, and they did a good job.  Second place:  "You only live twice" by Nancy Sinatra.

62.  I like "Waiting for Guffman" better than "Best in Show."

61.  I laugh more at George Costanza in reruns than I did the first time around.

60.  Abraham Lincoln is the first guy I want to go see in heaven.  Always has been.  Funny thing is, I have no idea what to say to the guy. 

59.  Life is linear, not cyclical.  Nothing repeats.  Ever.  Nor should it.

58.  That being said, if I could, I'd go back to being 10 for just one day.

57.  Dwight K. Shrute is a genius!

56.  Bugs Bunny and Foghorn Leghorn could kick Timmy Turner and Sponge Bob's ASSES any day.

55.- 50. [RESERVED FOR FUTURE USE.]

49.  Once, just once, I'd like to have "Hail to the Chief" played when I enter a room.

48.  Beatles first, Who's next.  (Put this at the same spot you did, Leezer.)

47.  Leezer's list is way better than mine.

46.  George was the best songwriter, John was strongest, but I like Paul and Ringo... who just released his greatest hits! 

45.  I'm a Yankee fan and a Republican and married a Democratic Red Sox fan.  And I don't like to brag, but...

44.  I once met Ally Sheedy in Boston, by accidentally trapping her pure in a revolving door.  (So when, hopefully at an old, old age, she dies and her life flashes before her eyes, I'll be in it!!!)

43.  I believe that Vince Vaughn should play the role that Paul Newman did in a remake of "Slapshot."

42.  If I had the guts, I'd drive around with cigarette butts to light and throw back at cars that throw them out the window on the highway.  To quote Indiana Jones' opinion on Nazis: "I hate those guys."

41.  My family is rather strange, and this apple didn't fall far from the tree.

40.  I cry at the end of "Mr. Roberts," and "The Last Hurrah", and at some of the gut-punching Budweiser commercials with the clydesdales.

39.  I lost two friends at the World Trade Center on September 11th, and was morosely engrossed in it for nearly a year, at times wanting to think about it and feel sad. 

38.  I am a Roman Catholic, and I believe what I was taught... the presence of God in communion and the whole deal of dying and going to heaven.  I'm also totally counting on the redemption/forgiveness thing to get there, though!

37.  I believe in ghosts, and that my house is visited from time to time by the very benevolent presence of the man who owned the house for a good 30 years or so before we moved in.  [We bought it from his widow.]  I get the feeling that he checks in to go on rounds every so often, usually after we make a change (paint a room, install a new light).  So far, he hasn't objected to anything we've done.

36.  As kids, after hearing about how the BVM (Blessed Virgin Mary) appeared to children at Lourdes, my sister and I prayed that she'd come to our house.  Then 20 minutes later, we were scared sh*tless, told our parents what we' done [as if we'd just broken a window].  "I don't think she would scare two young children," Mom said.  "It's okay.  You can go back to sleep."  Whew! 

35.  I was not afraid to die until I became a father.  Now I don't want to leave. 

34.  I'd like to think that I'd give my life for a stranger, but given number 35, I wonder if being around for my children would make me hesitate.

33.  I have met three U.S. Presidents.

32.  I was in two plays in high school and want to audition for the repertory theatre in my town someday.  [I was Edward Angkatell in "The Hollow" and Harry Dodge in the non-musical version of "Meet Me in St. Louis."

32 a.  The Hollow featured an on-stage kiss with one of the two girls in my life who truly stole my heart away.  On our last night, neither of us were acting.  Where have you gone, Darling Midge? 

31.  I regularly appear on a local TV station analyzing my field of business.  I like it too much.

30.  "Whose Line is it, Anyway" didn't do it for me, but I want to be ON "Thank God You're Here!"

29.  When I was a kid, my Dad called me "Charlie Brown."  I think it was because I was a blockhead.

28.  One of my Great-grandmothers was a mail order bride; and one Great-great grandmother came to America as a 50-year old widow with 12 of her surviving children.

27.  I got hooked on NASCAR six years ago with my oldest son.  (Go, Dale, Go!  Drive that Big Brown Truck!)

26.  I am two degrees from Kevin Bacon.

25.  All roads lead to Mark Twain.

24.  Burt Bacharach is the best composer of our time.

23.  Peter Sellers was a genius.

22.  Alan Arkin is underrated. 

21.  So is Gene Hackman.

20.  Lewis Black slays me.

19.  The secret to making crispy bacon is baking it in an oven at 400 degrees.  (See #11.)

18.  I don't think I'm into laser eye surgery, but a buddy of mine just had a laser vasectomy.  Kind of a "Lady or the Eye chart" decision, if you ask me.

17.  This is actually the last one I'm filling in.  I started this list at the top (100), then the bottom (1), and then filled in the middle.

16.  I have lucid dreams on a fairly regular basis.  I can also fly in them and once conjured up Amanda Peet.

15.  Yes, I've tried it, and I inhaled, but I was already drunk.

14.  I want to learn to play the piano and sky dive, but not on the same day.

13.  I'm writing this list during a conference call at work, and just faked my way through answering a question.

12.  Sam Adams and Guinness.  Enough said.

11.  I am the Czar of Breakfast every Saturday and Sunday at our house.  Specialty of the house:  Nutmeg cinnamon French toast. 

10.  Dark chocolate over milk.

9.  Ocean over lake.

8.  Surfcasting over boat, but I want to learn how to fly fish.

7.  Stormy weather (heavy rains or snow and lots of wind) is an aphrodisiac.

6.  Two who would have me at hello:  Deborah Kerr (in the Affair to Remember era) and Lauren Bacall (from Key Largo era).

5.  One more who could:  Amy Sedaris.

4.  I've always been much more like my Mom (cock-eyed optimist), and I strive every day to be for my kids the kind of Dad my father was to the young me.  (Before I became a teenaged asshole.)

3.  Randy Newman.

2.  Peer pressure doesn't get to me.

1.  I just saw "100 Things" lists on Leezer's and another's blog so I did one right away.  

Comments

[Leezer]

Wryter:
First off, this list made me laugh and it made me cry.

#100 - Of course you're a Gemini! Geminis and Virgos. The best.

#85 - I have three framed album covers - all are Herb Alpbert covers. Whipped cream is my favorite. I longed to be like that woman on the cover. Or any of the blondes on Black Velvet billboards.

#81 - my husband doesn't read, either. His excuse: "I LIVE the blog."

#78 - agreed. I have crushes on both Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert. Even though I believe they're both liberals. Pussies.

#69 - I'm Teutonic by ancestry, so thank you!

#66 - This made me laugh out loud. A true belly laugh. Thank you!

#62 - Agreed! Best line: "you are Poopy POOPY bastard people!" (Guffman to the town council for not giving him ten times the city's annual budget).

#60 - Me too! This answer hasn't changed for the past thirty years.

#46 - "All I got is a photograph and I realize you're not coming back anymore do do do do dooo dooo!" George had the best post-Beatle songs!

#45 - I'm a Republican Red Sox fan!

#38 - #35 - I was raised Lutheran, but went to church often with the Catholic family that lived accross the street. It was from that parish that I recieved glow-in-the-dark praying hands, rosaries, and what-not. It scared the be-jesus out of me to see these things glowing at night. Perhaps as a result but maybe not, I am most likely the only Lutheran on the planet who believes in ghosts. I'm glad yours is a peaceful one!

#22 and #21 - Agreed! I have always had a crush on Gene Hackman although he's old enough to be my father. I just want to sit on his lap and fall asleep with my head on his shoulder.

#16 - Me, too. I've read this is a sign of genius. Or mental illness :)

#13 - I'm honored!

#7 - A recurring fantasy of mine is that I am stranded in a blizzard with a handsome stranger. There is a cabin nearby. We make ourselves at home because it is vacant. Fire is in the fireplace, etc, etc, etc.

#1 - Thanks for sharing your list!!!

[EDW]

100. So out of your two or so readers, two are Virgos? Weird.
97. Agreed.
89. And Thank God for that.
83. Mine was 92.
63. Not "Live and Let Die"? ;-)
59.Hmm. What about history?
49. That's hilarious.
38. Ditto.
25. All mine lead to Austen.
10. But of course.
9. Naturally!
3. Indigo Girls
2.I can be convinced to stay for one more.
1. Hey! I've got one, too, but it's a not a hundred. :-)