This was my Mother's favorite joke:
One beautiful sunny morning, Mrs. Smith was at home and she heard a knock at the door.
It was Charlie, the mailman.
"Good morning Charlie!"
"Goot morning, Mrs. Smith. Just wanted to let you know that I've decided to retire, and tomorrow will be my last day."
"Oh, Charlie, congratulations. But you've been our mailman nearly 30 years, I don't know what I'll do without you. You've practically become one of the family. Why don't you stop in tomorrow so I can say goodbye."
"Sure thing, Mrs. Smith. See you tomorrow."
The next day, Charlie stops by. Mrs. Smith invites him into the kitchen, whereupon he sees a freshly baked cake with "Farewell Charlie" written on the icing.
"Oh, Mrs. Smith, you shouldn't have."
"Now don't be silly, Charlie. You sit right down and have a slice with me."
After cake, Charlie says his thank yous, and begins to get up from the table. "Not so fast, Charlie," Mrs. Smith says. "There's something else." And she hands Charlie an envelope. He opens it, and pulls out $50.00.
"Oh, Mrs. Smith, you should't have."
"Buy yourself that new fishing rod you've been talking about."
Charlie is near speechless, says his thank yous once again, and starts for the door. "Not so fast, Charlie," Mrs. Smith says, batting those bedroom eyes. "There's something else. Come with me." And she takes Charlie by the hand, leading him upstairs to the bedroom.
After a sound thrashing of passionate lovemaking that nearly drops the house, Charlie lies staring at the ceiling. Breathless. Speechless.
"Golly, Mrs. Smith, you shouldn't have... but I'm so glad you did. That was.... that was.... amazing. I really don't know what to say..."
"Why thank you, Charlie. It WAS rather nice. Actually, you can thank my husband for it."
"Wha....?" Charlie is stunned.
"Well sure," she says. "When I told him last night that you were retiring and said that I wanted to do something nice for you after nearly 30 years of braving the wind, rain and snow, why Harvey looked up from his paper and said 'Screw him, give him fifty bucks!'...
... "The cake was my idea."