Entries in Vox On! (21)

Wednesday
Feb172016

Elemental Wry-ku

Periodic'ly*
I sometimes wonder who died
And made carbon King?

 

 

I've got LOTS more to say on this topic.  Suffice it to say, Why Carbon?  It's SIXTH!  Why not Argon?

Ever hear Toyota try to compare the Beryllium footprint of the new Prius vs. a Hemi?  They won't.  Know why??  No dif! Take Carbon out of play, and there's no edge. 

I learned this from my oldest son.  It's like the schoolyard bully.  The biggest kid is bound to challenge the skinny kid to a punching contest.  This happened to my son.  He was the skinny kid.  Nay:  The skinny clever kid who, at age 6, had the presense of mind to say, "I got a better idea.  Let's have a running contest."  The bully agreed, and promptly lost. 

Carbon... oh, how original.  Please.  Helium is way more fun, it's ahead of Carbon in the batting order and it's a noble gas! 

So the next time Larry David's ex-wife comes walking in your direction, be the skinny clever kid.  Tell her why her canteen made from a recycled 747 wing can't compare with the Strontium footprint of a bottle of water.  (Or even its water footprint, but that's a molecule. I digress.)

Read the chart above.  Pick one.  Get thee to Thallium before someone else does.  Own it.  I've got a charcoal grill to get to. 

* Appealing to the judges for a little poetic license on this one.

Friday
Jul042008

"It was 232 years ago today" Wry-ku

DSC_0036.JPG

*

After all this time

Philadelphia Freedom

Still self-evident?

*

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Wednesday
Sep192007

To do list

Two things at the top of the "Life List" these days.

The%20one%20that%20got%20away.jpg1.  Fish my way into this contest.  [I'll be unplugging the toaster for a couple of days, starting Wednesday.  I'm off on the annual fishing oddysey.]

 

 

 

 

2.  Wryte my way into this contest.  [The closest I've come is when they picked what I wrote, but someone else did, too... and got all the glory.]  

But I'll have to write later.  There's FISH to be caught!

Friday
Jun012007

If I ran American Movie Classics

One of the following movies would be required to be on the air late on a Friday night:

366478-849413-thumbnail.jpg[Man Law:  The movie has to appeal to the lone guy on the couch, and be long enough that he can doze for 10 minutes once in awhile and not lose track.  For that matter, you can't go wrong with this one.]

That is all.

Wednesday
Apr042007

Spring Cleaning

Things to be glad about this month:

366478-757422-thumbnail.jpgWatching my son's practices in person.

Listening to play by play of opening day's Baltimore v. Minnesota game on XM Radio.

 366478-757425-thumbnail.jpg

Finally breaking into the digital age with a DVR and HBO just in time.  Just in time.

A small refund from the taxman.

All told, it's certainly better than a stick in the eye!

Saturday
Dec302006

Thank you, Mister President

Letter to a 10 year-old boy:

A1813-5.jpgThe White House
Washington

September 5, 1975

Dear Brian:

Thank you for your letter to President Ford inviting him to visit your hometown during his campaign. Although we do not yet have a schedule of his proposed trips, it is sugggested that you watch your local newspapers which will not doubt carry an account of the President's plans.

Sincerely,

William W. Nicholson
Deputy Director
Scheduling Office

 

Letter to that same boy's Mother, who had written to tell the President she would do what he asked: Keep him in her prayers.

 

GRF.jpgThe White House
Washington

May 28, 1976

Thank you very much for your thoughtful and encouraging message. I am grateful to know that I can count on your support.

The American people are going to be asked to make some very critical choices this year, choices which will have considerable impact not only on their imeediate future, but also on future generations. As President, I must make difficult and fundamental decisions which are necessary although not always popular. I am grateful that you support our efforts for a better America.

You and your family have my best wishes and appreciation for your prayers.

Sincerely,

Gerald R. Ford

I felt for sure there'd be a "PS, say hello to Brian." No such luck.

I was captivated by politics by reading about JFK and watching the example of my best friend's dad and my own father. I was crushed when Nixon resigned. As John Chancellor narrated Richard Nixon's walk to the helicopter and that awful wave, I walked into my parents' den with a photo the White House had sent me when I had written to him... and without saying a word, tore it to pieces. At age 9, I knew nothing of what an Erlichman a Liddy or a water gate was. "Was that something like a dam?"

Yeah. Something like it. But I knew enough that he was the--no--The President, he'd betrayed The Country and that was bad--no--Bad.

GRFPortrait.jpgThis new President, though... Mom wept when he said our "long national nightmare" was over. He asked a nation that had not given him their votes to "confirm him with your prayers." And so we did. I'd never known anyone called Gerald before, but I invited him to come to town. In getting the brush-off, though, I gained a new portrait to hang on my wall. And so I did.  And there it stayed, until replaced by Jaclyn Smith (my favorite Angel).

In a tumultuous age when the suffix “gate” was first shackled to the notion of scandal, you said that “none of us are more than caretakers of this great country,” and you showed us that with honesty, courage, sacrifice, and what you called “the quality of the ordinary, the straight, the square” the Republic would endure. And so it did.

Now you have taken your leave of us in another tumultuous age. Two nations are burying former presidents, and the front pages are a study in contrasts between majesty and the macabre: grandeur for our former leader/the gallows for theirs. That is cast-iron irony—the kind that leaves a mark.

This morning, I showed these letters to my 10 year-old boy who is gaining his own awareness of politics, and I told him your story. We’ll get through these times, too. I sure as heck don’t know when, but you showed us how.

“The ultimate test of leadership,” you said, “is not in the polls you take, but the risks you take. In the short run, some risks prove overwhelming. Political courage can be self-defeating. But the greatest defeat of all would be to live without courage, for that would hardly be living at all.”

So thank you, Mister President. I guess it’s okay that you didn’t come to Watertown. Your letter did, and you are in the prayers of those “future generations” you wrote about—and worked to keep from harm.

Thursday
Nov302006

My baby sister ROCKS!

"But you know me.  I'd just as soon spit in someone's eye than shake their hands if I think they're trying to put my peeps or me down."

Said to me 5 minutes ago in an email from my baby sister; 12 years my junior.  She's got lots of our paternal Grandmother in her.  (Not the Grandmother in cat glasses, but the other one.  The one who once told our other sister, "If that boy gives you any trouble, you tell me.  I'll slice the cords on the back of his knees.")

Loyal to the core!  That's my sister for you.  And I've looked up to her since the day she was born!

Tuesday
Nov072006

Don't miss the majesty:  Vote

"Your representative owes you, not his indusry only, but his judgment; and he betrays insted of serving you if he sacrifices it to your opinon."  --Edmund Burke, Irish philosopher, statesman.

If you've got enough time to read a blog, you've certainly got enough time to get to the polls and VOTE. 

366478-205802-thumbnail.jpgDoesn't matter whether you Rock it or Move it On, whether you're Right, Left, or middle of the road, Red-faced, or Blue-sky... just VOTE. 

Now. 

This stuff matters. 

Let me put it to you this way:

Ben Affleck is voting for Democrats today.  Tom Selleck is driving Nancy Reagan to the polls and they're both gonna vote for the GOP. 

Had enough??  NO???  You're leaving me no other choce but to break out the heavy artillery:

  • 366478-539704-thumbnail.jpgYour brother in law voted today, and you and I both know he's a total tool.
  • The "Dwight Schrute" in your Office voted on his way to work, while you were sleeping through the alarm.
  • Your ex-spouse just voted on her way to meet with his/her lawyer, and the lawyer voted, too. 

But have they earned it?

 "Lofty posts make great mean greater still, and small men much smaller."  Burke again

366478-539684-thumbnail.jpgOur state capitols, our U.S. Congress, our city councils and boards of aldermen, freeholders, county councils and such are the echo chambers of our hopes, dreams and fears. 

And taking Congress as an example, it is the place that our Founding Fathers (Word to their Mothers) created so that 300,157,034 Americans (as of typing) could become 435; and that 435--in assembly as the United States House of Representatives--could be ONE. 

366478-539690-thumbnail.jpgThat kind of magical arithmetic only happens here.  And we're the ones who get to decide.  Experience is important, but it doesn't earn you a pass, or a lifetime subscription to public office.  They don't retire a jersey with your district number on it when you leave.  Every two years, or six if you're a senator, your subscription comes up for renewal.  There is strength in that renewal, but only if we vote.

The names change, the people come and go, the Republic marches on, but only if we vote.

I believe in this because I've seen it work. 

Lookit... The bullsh*t rhetoric that passes as political speech these days can make even the stoutest of believers waver.  But don't waver.  Vote.

There are people running and serving in office today who KNOW that there is NOTHING that can be found in the marbled cooridors of power that can possibly compare to the a handshake and a look in the eye between a voter and the man or woman who would hope to earn their vote.

366478-539700-thumbnail.jpgWe don't want them to cure the common cold... we want them to care about what we wrestle with at our kitchen table:  How are we going to get our kids through school; what are we going to do about our aging parents and gradnparents.

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

Vote.

 

Monday
Oct162006

It's an honor just to be nominated

"This is the jury message for Tuesday, October 17th.  All jurors should report.  Repeat.  All jurors should report for duty."

Bring it AWN!! 

Or better yet...

366478-509759-thumbnail.jpgDenny Crane!

Actually, my hopes are quite low-key at this point.  You see, I'm one of those dopes who thinks it might be interesting to serve on a jury.  But the Toastmaster is currently 0 for 4 when it comes to being selected for a jury.  But as they say,  it's an honor just to be nominated.  [If I can find the Dunkin Donuts napkin from last week, I'll have more to say on who "They Say" really are in a future post.] 

The first time I was called for jury duty, I actually qualified for one of the reasons that you don't have to report that day.  The second time the phone message said that no jurors needed to report.  Must've been a slow day for crime in the big city!  The last time I was called, I got to hang around all morning.  They had about two jury pool's worth of folks waiting.  Honestly, it's worse than being at the doctor's.  The nurse clerk came to the doorway at 11:30 (later on, I learned that they have to hand out lunch stipends for people who stay past Noon) and started reading off names.  One... by one... by one...  Nobody could tell whether those folks were being released or summoned. 

Once the Chosen were escorted out of the room (at 11:51), Clerk Cratchet said:  "You are all released.  Your duty has been fulfilled.  They settled the other case.  Thank you very much." 

Damn!  So close.  I wonder how much money-per-hour those settling lawyers got.  And they can't throw us a frikkin ham sandwich and call it even??

Now upon just having called the number, I am ready to serve.  Dazzle me, Denny!  Or at least throw me a lunch duccat so the whole day's not a wash.

Monday
Sep182006

Swingin' into Fall

366478-473774-thumbnail.jpgWere always told repeatedly
The very best in life is free
And if you want to prove its true
Baby Im telling you
This is what you should do

"Help Yourself," by Tom Jones...  Now playing on the wryPod. 

Kicking off the week in style. Tom Jones, Bobby Darin, Dean Martin have joined the Chairman of the Board on the wryPod.  Me and the boys are swinging into Fall, baby!!  

By Wednesday night, I'll be here for three days of fishing, drinking, telling lies, playing cards, and (oh, did I mention) fishing and drinking.  My Friday's Feast won't be up til Sunday, but rest assured it will consist of garlic, wine and all manner of seafood.  [No spinach, thanks.]