Elemental Wry-ku

Periodic'ly*
I sometimes wonder who died
And made carbon King?

I've got LOTS more to say on this topic.  Suffice it to say, Why Carbon?  It's SIXTH!  Why not Argon?

Ever hear Toyota try to compare the Beryllium footprint of the new Prius vs. a Hemi?  They won't.  Know why??  No dif! Take Carbon out of play, and there's no edge. 

I learned this from my oldest son.  It's like the schoolyard bully.  The biggest kid is bound to challenge the skinny kid to a punching contest.  This happened to my son.  He was the skinny kid.  Nay:  The skinny clever kid who, at age 6, had the presense of mind to say, "I got a better idea.  Let's have a running contest."  The bully agreed, and promptly lost. 

Carbon... oh, how original.  Please.  Helium is way more fun, it's ahead of Carbon in the batting order and it's a noble gas! 

So the next time Larry David's ex-wife comes walking in your direction, be the skinny clever kid.  Tell her why her canteen made from a recycled 747 wing can't compare with the Strontium footprint of a bottle of water.  (Or even its water footprint, but that's a molecule. I digress.)

Read the chart above.  Pick one.  Get thee to Thallium before someone else does.  Own it.  I've got a charcoal grill to get to. 

* Appealing to the judges for a little poetic license on this one.

Label Wry-ku

Labels by the score.

Father, son or Injun Chief?

What's on your name tag?

Republican.

Democrat.

Liberal.

Conservative.

Gemini.

Contrarian...Rotarian...Hibernian.

Labels. 

We're obsessed with them.  Everyone's got to be in a category.  Long ago, with the sun setting on an early June night, our youngest (then aged 7) dealt out the labels to his family in the form of handmade placecards with a one-word label next to each name.

Mommy:  "Love."

His sister:  "Candy."  [An exceptional guesture since they'd just been knocking each other around.]

His brother:  "Sick."  ["The good kind," he explained.  "'Like 'Your so seeeeyuck!'"  His older brother approved.]

His Dad:  "Rock."  [No accompanying explanation.  Charitably, yours truly walks away thinking "Dad rocks!"  He stays mum on whether it's a description of my head.  Note to self:  Hike this kid's allowance!]

And so this morning, it occurred to me to ask.  "Hey Danny, you put those words on our placecarcds, but did you put one on yours?"

"Sure, Daddy."

"Well, what did it say?"

"PARTAAAAAY!"

Attaboy!

"It was 232 years ago today" Wry-ku

*

After all this time

Philadelphia Freedom

Still self-evident?

*

Independence Day Wry-ku*

Paul Giamatti

Sideways from Big Momma's House

You found John Adams

* Inspired by true events.  The post immediately below about a man arrested wearing fake boobs, Leezer's Historical Haiku, and made easier by the common denominator:  An actor with a five-syllable name.

"The best gift of Christmas" Wry-ku

Years ago, our then 11-year old son, who wanted a bell from Santa's sleigh not more than two years ago, survived the FIRST of his two major revelations this year, [Read:  Santa; not Baby].  This morning, he presented his Mom and me with the best gift we could have ever received:  A book of his poetry from school.

His work is amazing, including this Haiku.

The small blue jay sings
A joyful welcoming song
To summon morning

I couldn't have said it better myself--or been more touched--ever.  Merry Christmas.

A non-anniversary Wryku

Life is linear

From one end to the other

Going with the flow

Anniversaries are thought of by some to be the closing of a circle.  I think they're milestones along one journey.  Life is linear.  That's the observation I made to one of my beloved sisters on the first anniversary of our Mom's passing.  Just because some dude named Greg took some other guy Julian's calendar and changed it, doesn't mean that anniversaries are reruns.  They're not. 

But sometimes you have to stop.  You can't just let the days slip by.  Thursday is such a day for me.  The birth of my oldest child.  And 10 years later, the death of one of my dearest friends. 

Jeff, wherever you are, I'm thankful so often to think about you, remember, and wonder...  What the hell did Abe Lincoln and JFK have to say?!?  Do you guys hang out??

Oh, and I almost forgot:  What's the deal with crop circles... and is Morgan Freeman really God?

Call me.

Buzz off Fly-ku

"Don't you think that's a little showy??" 

My silent rebuke to a fly that made its way onto the US Airways Shuttle from Washington DC to LaGuardia.

I'm still waiting for scientists to dig into my theory about birds, and how they act around airports.  (Hint: Showoffs.)  

Not this kindBut what about the fly who flies? 

Yes, yes, he had the good sense and manners to fly coach with the rest of us; perched on the overhead bin.  No, he did not shift during takeoff or landing.  And upon landing, I swear I saw him fly straight out the door.

Clearly this DC fly had plans in the Big Apple for the weekend.  Maybe he took in a show.  Possibly he was the guest host on Saturday Night Live, in time to fly back and tape Meet the Press.  Possibly he hung around the terminal, cruising the Mens Rooms for wide-stanced United States Senators. 

Not this kind, either.Regardless, this little bugger... this FLY... who can FLY... something I can only do in the odd lucid dream... flew... for FREE.

And I think he knew it. 
Yup!

Redundant insect
Nobody likes a show-off
Where's your boarding pass?

Musical Wry-ku

Mighty like a rose

MacManus and McCartney

Feels more like Lennon

Wry-ku. In ironic pentameter

And what have we here?

Rusty Rust-Oleum can

Iron irony!

Fly-ku

Airline gate agent

Won't you please give us a sign?

"Ground stop at O'Hare."